El fanfiction de Connie
by elconnie
Summary: A short story about SnK Twitter


El Fanfiction De Connie

The few following words will be about my adventures of the past two months on Twitter.  
Enjoy it. Worship it. Frame it.  
#TrueStory

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It was a rainy day, not unlike any other. The chilly fall breeze was merciless, I couldn't help but to whisper a curse. But ... The rain wasn't water. It was ... GRAPE JUICE. And that was when Bertholdt stepped in, two Reiners clinging onto him. He was wearing a coat, smoking some weed, his sunglasses covering the eyerings I expected the young man to have. As I averted my gaze, Ape and Rin burst into the wall, ready to start a hell storm. What was going on ? As if that wasn't enough, thousands of Jeans 3DMG'ed in, all screaming "HUH ?!" at me, looking me deep into the eyes. Some started neighing, others made out with Armins and Erens. The floor cracked, and billions of halved Marcos crawled out of hell.  
"I believe in Jean."  
"HUH ?! HUH, HUH ?!"  
"Who wants a snapback ?"  
"YO NIGGER, GIMME ONE OF THOSE DOPE FLOWER CROWNS !"  
"HUH ?! HUH, HUH, HUH ?!"  
"SHARK NOISES."  
"RIN, SHUT THE FUCK UP."  
"FRANZ, YOU SLUT, I WILL SHOVE THESE BANANAS UP YOUR THROAT."  
"LOL, CPR WON'T WORK ON ME, HANNAH. :-)"  
"DID SOMEONE SAY ... POOL ?! POOLS ?!"  
"WHO THE FUCK ALLOWED THE FREE! CAST TO BE PART OF THIS ?"  
I couldn't tell apart the voices any more, there were thousands of people in my small room, which couldn't even handle a single one. This shit ain't even frosty.  
On the other side, Franz was running around smooching people, and slapping their asses. U homo gay.  
"Bitch, get out the way !", one of the Erens said as he transformed into a titan. On the exact same second, two halved Marcos rose into the sky, a halo surrounding them. They reunited into a single Marco. The magic of superglue.  
"I AM THE ALMIGHTY FRECKLED JESUS !", he shouted.  
"Freckled Jesus !", freckled Satan, Ymir, screeched.  
A wild Sasha ran up to me, holding my hands.  
Carla and Grisha were sitting on Wall Sina, not giving any fucks, and smoking some hardcore German weed.  
"Connie, we're gonna marry !"  
"What the fuck, no."  
"We will have tons of children !"  
"16 and pregnant ? Nope, not with me."  
"I will mpreg you so hard !", another Jean screamed into my ears.  
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ?"  
Holy wall Maria, who told you this was okay ?  
"HEY, KOU, NOTICE ME ! I'M BREAKING MY ARM FOR YOU !"  
"Seijuuro, fuck off already, holy shit."  
"But my love for you is infinite !"  
"So are the fucks I don't give."  
God, Free! is so gay.  
"NAGISA, YOU CAN'T SWIM NAKED IN ARMIN'S TEARS !"  
"Makoto, suck my dick. It's okay if you don't join, I know you are scared of oceans."  
An army of Keiths, Levi's squad, dead side characters, the SNK cattle, Free! characters and my hair crashed into the room, completely destroying the wall on my left. Another army of some more Free! characters (like drowning Reis), Mr. Moseby, weird objects and body parts, and Mikasas did the same thing with the other half of my now completely destroyed room. It was a battle field. It was war. War among us. The large titan, who ate Eren's mum, threw tons of BBQ nipples at everyone, with Petra sitting on his shoulder, crying over her own death. Armin and Krista made out furiously under the nipples, while the blond semi-male faggot also summoned Satan to kill Mina's fetus. Moseby denied getting married in the background, and the lobby got flooded by Armin's tears, Jean's saliva, and Bert's sweat. Nitori sneezed, the Ape titan adopted shotas. DONALDS. GET ME MY DONALDS. CLICK THE COOKIE, GET THE DONALDS. THE FROST IS OVERLOADED, THE SWAG IS INFINITE, THE HTE CHCJELE MIKL IS NOW MADE OF MOO MOO JUICE. HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS #GERMANSEXDUNGEON, WHERE'S LEVI'S WINDEX ? WHERE IS THE SANTA TITAN ? Plot twist. WATCH OUT FOR THE TREE, PETRA ! I WILL BEND YOU OUT WITH MY AVATAR BALD ! Shit, she's dead. Haha, l0ser, #txtit. Got crushed by Annie's swag nose and Reiner's moobs, lol. God damn it, this is going to be the new jungle book.

* * *

Shit, I hope I didn't forget anyone  
That's it, nerds


End file.
